Children in Mediation

If you are finding it difficult to discuss plans together, family mediation may help you work out arrangements for the future, including talking to your children, arrangements for them, communication between you and your ex-partner, financial arrangements and the role of the wider family and new partners. The trained and impartial Mediator will not take sides or impose solutions, but help you make your own decisions in a calm and even-handed atmosphere.

Mediation helps parents to co-operate with each other over their children, to discuss their children’s needs and to take full account of any concerns that either parent has regarding the children. Whatever your feelings, it is important to put your children’s needs first and avoid them being caught up in conflicts and arguments.

Every family is different and there is no “right way” to be a separated parent. However, your children need to know why you are separating and how things are likely to change for them. Their understanding will be different depending on their age, but children are almost always aware that something is happening.

Every child’s needs are different. However, they generally need to feel they can continue loving relationships with each parent, be helped to understand the reality of their parent’s separation and in dealing with the feelings of loss and anger which may result from this. They also need a sense of continuity and routine.

Exposure to ongoing conflict and witnessing parents blame each other can be hurtful to children. It is important children understand that the separation is their parents’ decision, they are not responsible for it and cannot change it by their actions. Communication between parents will avoid misunderstandings about plans and visits for children. Children are helped if they feel that spending enjoyable time with one parent is not being disloyal to the other.

In certain situations, particularly when your child is old enough to express their feelings, they can also be seen by the Mediator. Three of our Mediators have had specialist training to enable them to do this. This will only happen if both parties agree and the child agrees. The Mediator will only feedback information that your child agrees to.

To find out more contact 01522 551 613 or email info@sillsmediation.co.uk