Top Tips for Successful Family Mediation
You have a lot invested in your Mediation sessions. Not only are you trying to save time and money and trying to bring a conflict to an end, you may well want to try and retain a working relationship with your ex, particularly if you have young children together. Those ties will remain for many years and it can be exhausting to have to engage in constant battles. To help you get the most out of your Mediation sessions we have spoken to our team of Mediators who have put together their “top ten” tips for getting the most out of your Mediation sessions;
1. Be prepared
With a financial Mediation, make sure you provide all the paperwork the Mediator asks for and you answer any outstanding queries about your finances. Time can be wasted in sessions going through financial disclosure and addressing concerns which could have been dealt with before the session started. With both children and Mediation cases, think carefully about your ideal outcome and any areas you might compromise on
2. Try to avoid bringing up past conflict
Emotions can run high during Mediation and often it’s tempting to use the sessions to go over issues that have been discussed before or to press for a response to unanswered questions. Try to focus on the fact that the Mediation session is about trying to make arrangements for the future.
3. Avoid inflammatory language
Referring to “my children” instead of “our children” for example can cause resentment and can result in the other party refusing to move on their position as a result.
4. Try to see the other party’s perspective
If you can, try to put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel? What would you be doing or saying?
5. Be flexible
Mediation will only work if both parties are prepared to offer some flexibility. A rigid or fixed position is unlikely to result in an agreed proposal.
6. Be open to new ideas
Your Mediator may well suggest alternative options to you that you hadn’t thought of before. Make sure you consider each option carefully before dismissing it.
7. Take advice
Your solicitor is there to advise and assist throughout the Mediation process. They will be sent a copy of the Mediation summary after each session. If you take advice throughout the process you are less likely to be faced with one party not being willing to settle matters in the terms proposed in your Mediation sessions.
8. Discuss your position openly
Remember that any offers you make are “without prejudice” so cannot be referred to in court and are not legally binding unless you choose to make them binding outside of the Mediation. Holding all your cards to your chest will not help you to come to an agreement. Don’t be afraid to say the wrong thing. The Mediator is there to help you.
9. Listen
Make sure you listen to what the other party is saying. Try to respond rather than react, even if they say something upsetting.
10. Check the paperwork
The Mediator will send you a summary of the session in writing after it has taken place. Make sure you check the paperwork you receive and let the Mediator know if any changes need to be made.
Top Tips for Successful Family Mediation
You have a lot invested in your Mediation sessions. Not only are you trying to save time and money and trying to bring a conflict to an end, you may well want to try and retain a working relationship with your ex, particularly if you have young children together. Those ties will remain for many years and it can be exhausting to have to engage in constant battles. To help you get the most out of your Mediation sessions we have spoken to our team of Mediators who have put together their “top ten” tips for getting the most out of your Mediation sessions;
1. Be prepared
With a financial Mediation, make sure you provide all the paperwork the Mediator asks for and you answer any outstanding queries about your finances. Time can be wasted in sessions going through financial disclosure and addressing concerns which could have been dealt with before the session started. With both children and Mediation cases, think carefully about your ideal outcome and any areas you might compromise on
2. Try to avoid bringing up past conflict
Emotions can run high during Mediation and often it’s tempting to use the sessions to go over issues that have been discussed before or to press for a response to unanswered questions. Try to focus on the fact that the Mediation session is about trying to make arrangements for the future.
3. Avoid inflammatory language
Referring to “my children” instead of “our children” for example can cause resentment and can result in the other party refusing to move on their position as a result.
4. Try to see the other party’s perspective
If you can, try to put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel? What would you be doing or saying?
5. Be flexible
Mediation will only work if both parties are prepared to offer some flexibility. A rigid or fixed position is unlikely to result in an agreed proposal.
6. Be open to new ideas
Your Mediator may well suggest alternative options to you that you hadn’t thought of before. Make sure you consider each option carefully before dismissing it.
7. Take advice
Your solicitor is there to advise and assist throughout the Mediation process. They will be sent a copy of the Mediation summary after each session. If you take advice throughout the process you are less likely to be faced with one party not being willing to settle matters in the terms proposed in your Mediation sessions.
8. Discuss your position openly
Remember that any offers you make are “without prejudice” so cannot be referred to in court and are not legally binding unless you choose to make them binding outside of the Mediation. Holding all your cards to your chest will not help you to come to an agreement. Don’t be afraid to say the wrong thing. The Mediator is there to help you.
9. Listen
Make sure you listen to what the other party is saying. Try to respond rather than react, even if they say something upsetting.
10. Check the paperwork
The Mediator will send you a summary of the session in writing after it has taken place. Make sure you check the paperwork you receive and let the Mediator know if any changes need to be made.